When an axe is pierced into the heart of the sandal tree, it said to the axe: “ Each one shares what each one’s nature is; your nature is to cut down and mine is to give fragrance even to the one who cuts me down..” and indeed it was, the axe smelled so strongly of the sandal. Yes, each one shares what we really are. When I trace down my memory lane of my desire to be a consecrated person, there were two dreams that alimented it – one was to remain close to God and another one was to live happily with so many sisters. Though I could find so many sisters praying in many congregations, what attracted me to the Handmaids were the adoration and the joy of the sisters that I met. Of course, there was a bonus too. I felt very much at home with the Handmaids in spite of all the pain that I felt leaving behind my world and my own. I heard an inner voice saying to me: “at last you have reached your home”…that voice and that feeling are still fresh in me no matter wherever I am.
When I look back at those days, I still remember that super nervous, hyper active girl who had a lot of good will and passion to love and serve the Lord and His people but with a lot of low self esteem, fear and uncertainties. Today I can say that it was really worthwhile to go through the process of “digging one’s own grave, dying and rising and the painful but beautiful process of “Reparation and Healing” before the Eucharist. He has found a “good crackpot mended” so that in His hands it can reach out to wherever He take me very specially to the outskirts and peripheries where the main stream is aloof to reach out. Thanks to all those instruments of formation that with their help the Lord had made me discover the “Pearl” that I am. I am the pearl that He holds out to the world to show them what God can do with the “little stones of pain and suffering in the shells of our comfort zones”. When any one asks me what is the happiest thing in my life… I tell them that it is to be a Handmaid of His heart that I belong to Him… what greater joy than being the “Esclava (slave) of a God who is pure infinite Love, continuously whispering to me like a mantra, “I love you and I am with you”. It has changed my perception towards life, love and people, the way I relate with people, the way I do things. It gives me the joy of owning who is not of my own blood, culture or language, to love even when it is not reciprocated, to cry with those who are vulnerable, heal the wounds of suffering, to be with the people in need, to fight for their rights but with compassion and justice, to forgive and move on even when it hurts.
Since I know by experience that it is God alone who heals, I find a lot of meaning in the words of St.Raphaela when she says, “ Bring the people to adoration”, I have heard witnessing of people about this greatest treasure of Eucharist that heals and consoles ,may it be the tribals, children, women or the fisher folks. I have found the Lord in their laughter and tears, in their simplicity, generosity and richness of humanity. St.Raphaela Mary says, “A Handmaid’s heart should be large enough to embrace the world”. I think it has affected our lives so much, I feel so happy to belong to this universal family, I appreciate our wider perceptive in life and mission, our freedom and openness to be with the people wherever they are and wherever they may be, open our houses for the people to enter and experience the warmth and friendship of our consecration.
There are certain experiences that never fade away from my heart. The most beautiful experiences are that of Roha, where I really felt so fulfilled as a Handmaid who live the reparation, where people confirmed that our lives are the 5th living gospel. The only one which they will read! During one of the village meeting in the tribal hamlet, the leader of that village told: “You know my grandfather was killed in front of my father who stood so helpless. But now they are frightened to molest us because they know that you are with us and justice will be done…what a joy to know that our presence itself communicate a sense of security to the little ones…another occasion during the women’s meeting…one of the ladies told… your God- Jesus – is very good…I asked why? Because you are good. You come to us to help us in spite of the sun and rain, you do not cheat on us, we are no one to you, still you treat us as if we are your own…
I have come across many people saying about us that you all are very happy and free, very original and spontaneous, you have disagreements but soon you are together, laughing or working. You are so special that we felt at home with you all. You are our sisters. I think that is the beautiful thing being a Handmaid – owned by God, by the universal family of Handmaids and by the people with whomever we live and work. I conclude by stating the sacred God experience of flowing like a river along with God and with my sisters and the universe. A river that springs forth from the deeper self of my being and flows out embracing all the shores. It is a special joy to flow like Handmaid because it means sharing the streams of healing from the sanctuary of life- the Eucharist. And in the course of flowing together with Him I realise that my spring has completely become one with the living water in the sanctuary of His life in me. I am blessed because I am the Handmaid of His heart. Sr. Brigit Viji Aci
Happy Birthday Viji !!!( 17th June)
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