I would say that living of consecration is just like a tiny star giving the powerful light to the darken world. In the context of Timor, I feel the symbol of star is very significant. Bazartete, the mountain area, the place where I live, there are neither big buildings nor any illumination. Therefore even a tiny star radiates its powerful light for us in the night. Very many times, this tiny star shows the way back home while I walk around.
My life as a consecrated woman is also just like a tiny star…… radiating the tender love, joy, peace and mercy or Christ to the simple people around me; especially the broken people. And I strongly believe that, the profound experience of God gives me the courage to challenge my life each moment even to the unknown.
There are many experiences, but I would like to share one of the experiences while I was in Pune just before I came to Timor. While I was transferred to Pune, I got a job in ENNS (Mrs. Erin Nagarvala School) as a remedial teacher to deal with the LD (Learning Disabled) children. It was a very old non catholic school with day scholars and the residents, run by Parsees. I was placed in a residential school. Soon after my interview, I was asked to be in charge of one class with sixteen LD children. Since I didn’t have any idea about their academic level, I requested to observe the class for one month in order to build the relationship with them and also to get their level. And my Principal was agreed to my request, and I began my observation. But I was shocked to see the injustice was going on in the class. The lady who was in charge of that class was not a teacher, but the clerk who had done some short term course on LD. But in reality, she had no idea about the LD at all. Therefore she used to torture the children physically, mentally and psychologically; especially the girls were her target. She couldn’t stand the girls, even one of the girls called Anjali was the victim of taking all her anger. With the result, the child lost all her self confidence and was not been able to say one word. With the fear, she used to stammer and when the lady hears her stammering, all the more she used to get angry. Together with the children, I suffered a lot in the class feeling total helpless. Soon a moment came that I couldn’t bear any more. After the prayer and reflection, I decided to speak to the Principal and tell her everything what was happening in the class. When I spoke to her, she asked me to write an evaluation in detail. Soon after that the Principal appointed me as a class teacher of that class. Even though I had to bear the consequences from that lady, I was very happy to see the tremendous change in the behaviors and in the academic are of the children. They began to believe in themselves and thus began to perform well in all areas. Even Anjali could speak without stammering. The Principal and all the teachers were surprised to see the noticeable change, and that gave me credibility as a Religious Sister. Even in a non Catholic school, the management respected me more than any other teachers who were working for so many years and always consulted me in any of their official matters. This was possible only because of my Handmaid vocation. Even today, some of the children from that group often write to me. Recently Anjali had written to me saying that “What I am today is because of Sister”. It is not that I have done something, but it is the Christ who lives in me. I really thank God for the gift of my Handmaid vocation.
Our vocation to be a Handmaid is a free gift of God. It is not because of our greatness we have obtained this gift. But it is God’s mercy which made us worthy to be a Handmaid of His heart. Therefore we have to take care and nurture our vocation with an attitude of gratitude to the giver. Every moment of our life is important, and there is not even a single minute to waste. The broken world needs us….. Listen to the cry…. So live our vocation more meaningfully for the service of others radiating the tender love, joy, peace and mercy of Christ. “So that the world may know that you are my disciple”. Keep your eyes fix on the eyes of the Lord….. And never get tired of sharing…….