“I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth. (Jer 1:6)” When I felt my vocation to be a Handmaid, I asked Jesus a similar question to that of Jeremiah. Am I mature enough to take a lifelong decision to be a Handmaid?  After three long years of prayer and discernment, at the age of twenty, when my parents started to look for a marriage proposal for me, I took a final decision, to join Handmaids. There I began my inner journey to find joy and fulfillment in my life. What attracted me most about the Handmaids was the adoration to the Blessed Sacrament. I was told by my formator, that our foundress St. Raphaela Mary used to say that   “For me adoring the Lord means He looks at me and I look at Him”. In the early years of my formation I did not know how to spent time in adoration that I began only looking at my first love- Jesus- in those silent hours   of adoration. It was my strength and this continued all throughout my last 25 years of religious life. The formation years were an inner journey to myself. In that journey, I discovered the depth of myself and also I was happy to explore to different languages and cultures.  Interpersonal relationships in the community and in the apostolate pointed out my strengths and weaknesses. This year being the year of the Consecrated, I complete 25 years of my joining to the Handmaids family. Though my life is a continuous search for fulfillment, today I can say that I am a happy and grateful Handmaid. When I look back to the years of my life as a Handmaid I can say like St. Paul- “God’s grace is sufficient for me”. I would like to narrate one of my experience in which I am confirmed the above words of St. Paul. Last year, it was few months after I joined in the school as a Counselor, I was sitting in my room, and it was about 10.30 am. Suddenly the Principal phoned me to say that there is an emergency and so I have to go to the office immediately.  When I entered the office, I saw a boy, aged 14, holding up his bleeding hand. The blood spread widely on his shirt and on the floor gave me a shiver on my knees. I was told that he cut his vein to end his life.  I found myself praying in my heart “Jesus I need your grace to deal with this situation”. It was my first such serious case that I have dealt with. I put my hands across his shoulder and I took him to my room and talked to him for a long time. I believe it was Jesus who gave me strength to give life to this boy. Before leaving my room, he promised me, that he will not do such actions anymore and he wants to live. After dealing with this boy I had to inform his mother who is a young widow. When I narrated to her what had happened to her son, she burst out weeping. It was very difficult to find the words to console her; it was only with the grace of Jesus I could help her out too.  It was really a challenging experience in which I encountered the powerful presence of Jesus in my life.  I believe that it was the grace of Jesus which called me to be His and still upholds me as His own. I thank Jesus for making me His instrument of life. I feel a sense of fulfillment and gratitude. I am deeply grateful to the Congregation who nurtured me all throughout these last 25 years of consecrated life as a Handmaid. I can tell my whole heart …”YOU HAVE TOUCHED ME AND I HAVE GROWN….”  Sr. Regeena Xavier aci.

Happy Birthday Sr.Regeena !!!